1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
