considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
