He kissed a someone with a penis
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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