Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
