i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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