I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
