just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
