he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
