I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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