why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
