I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
