Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
