eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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