OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
