You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
