just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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