it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
