She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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