doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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