I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
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