new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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