Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
