What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
