How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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