worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
