I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if i died would you start the facebook group?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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