no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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