You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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