I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
