whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize