Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
