nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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