Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
