And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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