just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
