so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my shit smells like andre
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Im part way to drunk.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
