This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
