she woke up with a sticky ear
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
