the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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