he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How's work?
Spinning.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I am available for nakedness
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
