I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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