i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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