1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
