I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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