Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
