just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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