You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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