Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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