So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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