you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
