I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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